i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
