omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
