Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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