Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
