It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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