My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i dont even know how to be here
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
