He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
