Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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