A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
