How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
