I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
