But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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