I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
