Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
