oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
