Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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