Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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