they need to just BURY HIM!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
