Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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