I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
