He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Blood and glitter go together right?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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