I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
