Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
