woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
