no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
