So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
