Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
