Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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