don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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