Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
