I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
