I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
