And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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