I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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