You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
