Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
