do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
