And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
