Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
