yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
