garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
