nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
