I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
