i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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