im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
