I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
