God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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