So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
