I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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