Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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